definition of manipulation: Shrewd or devious management, especially for one's own advantage.

certainly, dressing sexy in order to get someone's attention could be a manipulative act, but not everyone who dresses up is doing it manipulatively, and that's not what we're talking about.

without a doubt, though, hitting on someone else to make someone else feel drawn to you, is manipulative, and in my opinion, it's disrespectful of the person you're flirting with but aren't actually interested in, as well as the woman who you want to like you. i may be reading more into your suggestion than you intended, but any scenario of "flirt with someone else to get someone to like you" is, to me, a game.

and again, it is my experience that mature confident women don't play these games. games are for players. lack of game-playing is one of the main things younger guys tell me they like about older women.

certainly, sometimes it takes a little extra effort to get someone who's skeptical about you, for whatever reason, to give you a chance. my sister, who is 50, was hotly pursued by a guy who was 24 a couple of years ago, and she just could not imagine how that could ever work. he persisted, and they've been together ever since. don't give up, cristophe. if you are truly attracted to someone, that usually trumps all the side issues.

not talking about certain things is actually simply a social skill. knowing what's appropriate to bring up, and what's not, and waiting for the right time to talk about something, isn't manipulation in my book, at least not in a negative way. choosing when and how to talk about something is an important life skill, in every context. generally, i don't tell people my age unless they ask, or it comes up in the right context. otherwise, it's either immaterial or misleading. really, who cares?

honestly, if someone is set on only dating guys who are older than them, why pursue them? a woman who has an age requirement has some agenda that makes that seem logical to her, like a woman who won't date a man who doesn't have a lot of money has an agenda that seems logical to her... though to me, both of those women are missing out on some awesome men.

maybe you could ask one of these women to tell you why she feels age is such a measure of a person's maturity.

and i think it's good to tell a woman you like "listen, a lot of people judge me because of my age, but i guarantee i am not like anyone else you know, and i don't care about that stuff and hope you don't either" - sometimes a little direct confident encouragement from your side will help.

it happens in reverse, too, of course. like i said, unless directly asked, i don't bring up my age early in getting to know someone. i recently met a very cool guy, and we hung out at a party/club together for a while, and he asked me to go out to another place with him, and on the way, he told me he was 29, and he asked my age, and when i told him, he totally freaked. it just didn't fit anything he'd ever known before and spun him out a bit.

the next time we talked, we agreed that i was simply older than dirt, and it's never been brought up again. but i would never lie about it. that isn't in alignment with my philosophy of life, which is that we all should be who we are, and not what we think someone else thinks we should be.

maybe you can do an experiment and go out somewhere one night, and tell everyone that you're 30, and see if you get more action. ;^)